So guess what happened today… and I’ll admit it.
I cried.
Tonight I was pretty emotionally distraught. Let me explain.
Today was just a series of events that lead to the floodgates being opened. For the most part, the day was great. I worked, had class, a teacher bought me lunch, and did a presentation. It was when 5pm rolled around that things started to really happen. And it wasn’t even all that major, but I think combined with just the stress of trying to balance all these things I’m doing in my life right now, was the hair that broke the camel’s back.
Tomorrow, Troy Phi‘s Dance Troupe, a group I’m in, is performing in front of Tommy Trojan. We’re doing several cultural dances. At first, I thought I was only doing Sakuting, a dance with sticks that represents a battle. Come Sunday, however, I found out that I was also supposed to do Tinikling, a dance I had learned but never really got down, and Singkil, a dance I had never even learned.
Tonight we had a 2 hour practice in front of Heritage Hall to get ready for tomorrow. I had made arrangements to get there an hour earlier to practice Tinikling, but I was asked to help transport the props which took about half an hour. Then I had to find parking, so by the time I got to Heritage to practice, I was 15 minutes late.
I really needed practice on Tinikling, so that’s what I worked on first. I was having a really hard time doing it with the clicking and was screwing up my partner. Now, I’m somewhat a perfectionist, so I was getting VERY frustrated with myself. In addition to that, I’m a people pleaser. I have this thing where I have to make everyone happy, so I’m very sad when I disappoint people. I’m learning to not be at this extreme, but to have some sort of balance.
In addition to all this practice and stress of trying to get Tinikling down and learning the new dance, I had dinner plans with a friend at 7pm. Originally, I was supposed to have breakfast with him on Saturday, but I double booked him on top of the 2007 Friendship Games, an event that Troy Phi was competing in at Cal State Fullerton. So I rescheduled for tonight at 7. I really needed the practice though, so I called him again tonight to move it to 8. I didn’t get done learning Singkil until 7:50. I realized then what time it was and left to meet my friend in Pasadena (a good 30 minutes away) for dinner. He called me up wondering where I was and I told him I was just leaving campus, so he knew it would be about 8:35 until I got there. I felt terrible.
On the way over, I got lost finding the freeway, and when I did find it, a truck in front of me blocked my view of the freeway signs, so I missed an exit and ended up going south on the freeway instead of north. It was there that I lost it and just started crying. I was so emotionally and physically drained at this point that I just couldn’t keep it in.
I called up a couple friends and my mom to just vent and they gave me comfort. They also advised me that I should probably cut back on some stuff. I think after this Sunday, I’ll really have to do that. It’s just starting to be way too much.
Luckily, my friend was very understanding and we had some great food! I’m just really trying to figure out the best way to manage my time and use it effectively to accomplish the things I want and to also have a good time while I’m here. *sigh*… it’s tough sometimes.
Cy
This past weekend, I was up in Nor Cal for a wedding. While I had a really good time and the wedding/reception was fantastic, there was a little bit of drama that went down. Let me give you some background before I go into it.
In 1982 when my mom was 26, she moved to the United States with a handful of other nurses from the Philippines. All of them were recruited to work in Brownsville, Texas. They all shared the same shifts and lived in the same apartments. Needless to say, they all bonded very closely as friends.
My dad moved out to the U.S. in 1985. I was conceived in ’86 and born January 29th of 1987. Being Catholic, I was baptized and my parents named pretty much all of their friends at the time as my godparents. We stayed in Texas until I was 4 years old.
Fast forward 16 years.
I’m 20 now and one of my godparents’ daughters is getting married. Everyone is excited for this and we make plans to head to the East Bay area for a good weekend away to spend with friends we haven’t seen in almost two decades. Everyone invited to the wedding stayed at a really nice Marriott Hotel in a really cool town called Walnut Creek. They have a nice little district where we did a lot of shopping on Friday.
The wedding was fantastic, but very interesting and different. The bride is Catholic and the groom is Jewish. Neither decided to convert over, but rather to accept those differences and appreciate them. In the wedding were elements of a traditional Catholic wedding as well as elements of a traditional Jewish wedding. My favorite part was when the groom Joel stepped on the glass and we all shouted “Mazel Tov!” It was definitely cool to be a part of. The real fun came at the reception. The couple’s parents spent thirty grand on this reception. There was an open bar, waiters serving wine and fancy hors d’ourves. There was a really expensive dinner complete with stuffed chicken, baked salmon, roast beef, Caesar salad… the works. It was amazing.
So here’s where the drama starts. I have a couple friends in Northern California who I’ve been keeping in contact with over the years, but have not seen in 4 years since 2003. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone by being able to leave from the wedding reception a little early and go meet up with my old pals. I told my dad this and he flipped out.
He was severely upset that I was leaving early. He expressed that I should stay because I haven’t seen these ‘relatives’ in over fifteen years. That there will never be an opportunity like this again. I told him that I understand that and that there would be all of the next day to hang out with them and get to know them. There was an all day reunion planned at the house of the bride’s parents, so I was planning on using that time to bond and charm and what have you.
Basically, we ended up arguing over this for about an hour where he did one of those, “Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” kind of things. I absolutely hate that, but I said, “Great! I’m going then.” So I left, got incredibly lost on the way to Sacramento where I would be meeting my friends, stayed out for a couple hours, then got back to the hotel at 3am. The whole entire time, though, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made the right choice.
The thing I couldn’t understand was why all people couldn’t be happy in this situation. I know I would have regretted it majorly if I didn’t go and see my friends for at least a couple hours, since I am NEVER in Nor Cal. The last time I’ve been up there was when I was 7 years old.
So the next day at the reunion, I had a blast. I hung out and played some games with my ‘cousins’, hammed it up with their folks, my godparents, and made $300 singing one song of I Swear by All-4-One on Karaoke. I was shocked, but my parents were like, “That’s okay. That’s how much they owe you over 16 years.” I was definitely cool with that.
Overall, I had a great weekend. It was a lot of fun. I just don’t know why my dad had to make Saturday night such a HUGE deal. I think he’s over it, but I’m expecting somewhere down the road for him to bring that night up against me in some future argument.
Eh, whatever. I’m spent.
(note: Yes, the friends I hung out with were HOBY friends from the year I went through the program in D.C. in 2003. It was amazing to catch up with them and chill and get lost around Sacramento while searching for a 24-hour starbucks.)
Filed under: Drama
It’s Sunday morning. 8:50a. My phone rings. It’s Luke.
I tell what happened last night.
He tells me something different.
Long story short, One phone call changes everything.
Never mind.
Trust is a hard thing to come by these days.
Insidecy 