Doing the Right Thing.
July 3, 2007, 5:16 pm
Filed under: Drama, Family, HOBY

This past weekend, I was up in Nor Cal for a wedding. While I had a really good time and the wedding/reception was fantastic, there was a little bit of drama that went down. Let me give you some background before I go into it.

In 1982 when my mom was 26, she moved to the United States with a handful of other nurses from the Philippines. All of them were recruited to work in Brownsville, Texas. They all shared the same shifts and lived in the same apartments. Needless to say, they all bonded very closely as friends.

My dad moved out to the U.S. in 1985. I was conceived in ’86 and born January 29th of 1987. Being Catholic, I was baptized and my parents named pretty much all of their friends at the time as my godparents. We stayed in Texas until I was 4 years old.

Fast forward 16 years.

I’m 20 now and one of my godparents’ daughters is getting married. Everyone is excited for this and we make plans to head to the East Bay area for a good weekend away to spend with friends we haven’t seen in almost two decades. Everyone invited to the wedding stayed at a really nice Marriott Hotel in a really cool town called Walnut Creek. They have a nice little district where we did a lot of shopping on Friday.

The wedding was fantastic, but very interesting and different. The bride is Catholic and the groom is Jewish. Neither decided to convert over, but rather to accept those differences and appreciate them. In the wedding were elements of a traditional Catholic wedding as well as elements of a traditional Jewish wedding. My favorite part was when the groom Joel stepped on the glass and we all shouted “Mazel Tov!” It was definitely cool to be a part of. The real fun came at the reception. The couple’s parents spent thirty grand on this reception. There was an open bar, waiters serving wine and fancy hors d’ourves. There was a really expensive dinner complete with stuffed chicken, baked salmon, roast beef, Caesar salad… the works. It was amazing.

So here’s where the drama starts. I have a couple friends in Northern California who I’ve been keeping in contact with over the years, but have not seen in 4 years since 2003. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone by being able to leave from the wedding reception a little early and go meet up with my old pals. I told my dad this and he flipped out.

He was severely upset that I was leaving early. He expressed that I should stay because I haven’t seen these ‘relatives’ in over fifteen years. That there will never be an opportunity like this again. I told him that I understand that and that there would be all of the next day to hang out with them and get to know them. There was an all day reunion planned at the house of the bride’s parents, so I was planning on using that time to bond and charm and what have you.

Basically, we ended up arguing over this for about an hour where he did one of those, “Fine. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.” kind of things. I absolutely hate that, but I said, “Great! I’m going then.” So I left, got incredibly lost on the way to Sacramento where I would be meeting my friends, stayed out for a couple hours, then got back to the hotel at 3am. The whole entire time, though, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made the right choice.

The thing I couldn’t understand was why all people couldn’t be happy in this situation. I know I would have regretted it majorly if I didn’t go and see my friends for at least a couple hours, since I am NEVER in Nor Cal. The last time I’ve been up there was when I was 7 years old.

So the next day at the reunion, I had a blast. I hung out and played some games with my ‘cousins’, hammed it up with their folks, my godparents, and made $300 singing one song of I Swear by All-4-One on Karaoke. I was shocked, but my parents were like, “That’s okay. That’s how much they owe you over 16 years.” I was definitely cool with that.

Overall, I had a great weekend. It was a lot of fun. I just don’t know why my dad had to make Saturday night such a HUGE deal. I think he’s over it, but I’m expecting somewhere down the road for him to bring that night up against me in some future argument.

Eh, whatever. I’m spent.

(note: Yes, the friends I hung out with were HOBY friends from the year I went through the program in D.C. in 2003. It was amazing to catch up with them and chill and get lost around Sacramento while searching for a 24-hour starbucks.)


2 Comments so far
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Bummer. I hate drama like that with parents. Despite the fact that you win in the end, you are still miserable doing what you wanted to do. I’m glad that the drama has since past, and I hope for smooth waters ahead 🙂

Comment by malloryrose

Are you going to blog again???


I sure hope so, my friend. . .

Comment by Justin

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