Insidecy


Thinking…
June 28, 2007, 8:14 pm
Filed under: Thoughts

So it’s definitely been a while since I’ve blogged. I’ve had a lot of time this summer to consider where I am in life and the things that are important to me. Recently, I changed the “About Me” section on my Facebook. I think it describes a little bit about what’s been going on with me lately.

“I figured I’d rewrite this since life is ever-changing…

I’m still a Christian and still love God, no change there. I’m finding my life to be one continual roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. I think and wonder about how odd, yet strangely beautiful and ugly at the same time life is. It’s short, but at times it’s quite long.

I stretch the limits, I push the boundaries, I strive for above-average. I get tired of monotony and upset at mediocrity. I hate apathy and the word, “whatever”. I lean towards those who are decisive and forthright. I don’t like to make decisions for other people. I do however give out advice.

I’m sometimes loud and sometimes soft-spoken. I tend to take leadership when no one else will. I work well in groups. The way to destroy my spirit is to leave me in a room by myself for the rest of my life. My purpose and calling in life is to help others. Forget monetary success and hording material possessions, the impact you make in other people brings more happiness than anything else you can acquire.

I love to sing. I love to act. I would love to do both at the same time. Honestly, sometimes my life is like a song, other times it’s an act. I hate to disappoint, and unfortunately for me, a temptation is to be something I’m not. I don’t cope well with failure, but it’s not hard to admit my faults. I like to be liked and I search for acceptance from my peers. I am a social butterfly.

I’m polite and kind. I don’t have walls or barriers. I let people into my heart if they’re willing to go there. However, I do have a hard time giving it back to people who step on it or break it. I long for someone to truly love, in a hopeless romantic sort of way. I love people. I love their strengths, but I also accept their weaknesses. Who are we without them?

I realize now that life is what you make of it. I understand that life is monumentally short in comparison to the vast expanse of eternity. I accept that because of that, I must make it my goal to enrich the lives of others. I admire the fact the only thing I can leave behind is my memory and what people thought of me. I fight to be positive and uplifting because I don’t want to be remembered as a downer or someone who sat around while the world passed him by.

I live.”

I’ve been trying to reconsider and debate in my mind the things that are most important to me. I’m not sure what those things are. I suppose family and friends are somewhere close to the top of that list. I think making an impact in the lives of others is up there. Being the best I can be is somewhere on that list. It’s just interesting to think about how far we’ve come as people. We’re no longer kids. We have to make decisions and we have to follow through on them.

I think I know what I want in the short term. I want to get accepted to USC. I want to move out of my parents’ house. I want to find a girl I like and date her. I want to make new friends. I want to keep old ones. I want to travel. I want to stay busy. I want to make others happy. I want to be happy.

This summer is so jam packed with things to do and I’m loving every minute of it. I like how I’m going to be in San Francisco this weekend for a wedding, return on Sunday and leave three days later on the 4th for Boston. I like that after I return from Boston on Monday, the 9th, I have a week at home before I leave for Washington, D.C. for HOBY. I like the friends I have in this organization. I think the reason I want to travel so much is that I just want to be out of the house. I’m honestly ready to move on and start my own life away from the influence of my parents and the umbrella they have over me. I appreciate it and I’m grateful for it, but I’m over it. It’s time for me to venture out and find things out for myself and start on the path to the life I’m supposed to live that is supposed to be my life, and not my parents’ life for me.

Anyway, I’m just babbling on and on now. I figured I’d write a little bit, because it’s been awhile. Hope you enjoyed it.