Insidecy


[changes]
February 13, 2007, 7:41 am
Filed under: Church, Spirituality, Thoughts

Life teaches you that not all things are secure. You can’t always be 100% certain of what is right in front of you.

People change. Situations change. Lives change.

Granted, some things are certain for everyone. For me, my faith is certain. God is certain. Really. Does anything matter in this life? In this world that we live on? Apart from following the Lord and his commands, I don’t think so.

My friend is going to be facing some hard times up ahead. His future is only as uncertain as he allows it to be. If he learns from this mistake and puts God first, I think he’ll come out of it okay. Possibly even stronger and more secure.

I hope and pray that he doesn’t use this as a crutch to fall deeper into sin and despair. I pray that he continues to seek guidance and help in his life. I pray that he places his value solely on God and not the things of this earth that are perishing. I hope that he comes out of this trial victorious and ready to do whatever for the Kingdom.

If he does these things, then I know he’ll be taken care of. Sadly to say, if he does these things, I’ll be seeing much less of him. Honestly, I want what’s best for him. I still love him and he will always be my big bro.

For new life, there must be sacrifice. For him, the sacrifice is living in close proximity to us. I understand that him moving away is part of this sort of repentance that must take place in order for him to live once again for the Lord and not for himself. Yes, I’ll be sad by his departure and will miss seeing him week after week, but if it is what is necessary for both of us to live in eternity with our Heavenly Father, then I am all for it. “Not my will, but yours be done.” Right?

He will be third of those who have ‘left’. My closest friend and mentor during my early teen years Scott moved away to Sacramento in the summer of 2003. That same month, my own father decided to leave God and the Church and live a completely capitalistic life, seeking after things so temporary and worthless. Both were a huge hit to me that year. I used those two ‘leaving’ as an excuse to hate and doubt God. An excuse to fall deep into sin, taking me to a place I never dreamed I’d be. I’m still healing from the things I’ve done and making reparations to the people I’ve hurt.

This time around, I’ve learned my lesson. I cannot use this as an excuse for failure. I cannot use this as a reason to be ineffective, lukewarm, and selfish. Rather, I must use this as motivation to fight harder because the spiritual battle that this life truly is has become even more real to me. Satan has brutally attacked someone so close and dear to my life, that I have to fight back. I have to resolute to do God’s purposes for me in this life as vengeance for those lost in the battle.

I hope my comrade picks himself up and rejoins us on the frontlines sooner than later.

I’m thankful that through giving myself wholeheartedly to ministry work, that I’m learning more discernment and obtaining ‘greater wisdom’ (with it, I wouldn’t do it. (inside joke)). Seriously though, God has been teaching me a lot. I’ve become much more spiritual focused and it’s been a huge blessing to me. Because I’m devoting my time, energy, and efforts into other people and into the ministry, I have not had a lot of time nor opportunity for sin and all the guilt, shame, pain, and hurt that comes with it.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
-Jeremiah 29:11

Bro, I believe in you and love you. I know you’ll bounce back from this even more capable and ready for the calling we’ve been given. Use this as an experience you’ve gone through to help those you encounter in the future who have a problem dealing with the same thing. To be cliche, this is your curse and your blessing. I encourage you to take the advice of those leaders that you have talked to. If that involves moving away from the Antelope Valley, I understand and am supportive of it. I hope you do this for you and for God and for no one else. Remember that I’ll always be there for you and will always listen to you and hear you out. I am sorry that I couldn’t have been a better help to you to keep you away from doing what you did. Unfortunately, it happened. Yes, God does and has forgiven us of our sins, but we do have to deal with the very real earthly consequences that comes with some of those sins. I believe that if you don’t let this get to you and if you don’t use this as a crutch, God will continue to use you for his glory. “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:4) Continue to seek him out, man. We can never stop searching for Christ. I love you and believe that in God, you can still do amazing things. Take care of your relationship with Him and everything will follow. You’re still the bomb.com.

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